One of the joys of my business is talking to family members. I love the brainstorming that we do around the situation with their family to determine the best way to support an aging loved one.

I’ve found that adult children are incredibly well meaning, and only want the best for their parents, but run up against a number of challenges.

Getting parents to accept help

For many seniors, accepting help can feel like they are giving up their independence - something no one wants to do. Many adult children understand their parents’ desire to stay in their homes and live independently, but feel their parents need some form of help to do so.

Taboo topics

Money is a subject fraught with minefields. Depending on the family culture, discussing money or medical conditions may be taboo. There may be disagreements on how money should be spent, and some seniors may even feel shame about how they’ve managed their money up to this point.

It’s incredibly difficult to help someone if you don’t fully understand the financial situation, but many people struggle to have open and honest conversations with their parents.

Walking the line between help and respect

There is a fine line between respecting someone’s independence and being realistic about the need for safety and for solvency. There needs to be enough money in the bank to pay the bills, but if a parent’s spending habits are going beyond their budget, that means an awkward conversation must be had.

Maintaining a strong relationship

Being a financial caregiver is hard. One must balance the needs of their loved ones with their own daily responsibilities, which is a challenge on its own. Beyond that, it’s easy for resentment to creep in on both sides of the relationship.

This is a concern many adult children express to me.

They absolutely want to help their parents, but they struggle with the changing relationship dynamic. Many people are looking for guidance on how to avoid a negative impact on their relationship.

Guilt

Many adult children reach a point when they say, “I just don’t want to do this anymore.” Or perhaps realize that they are not very good at being a financial caregiver.

Those feelings can be accompanied by a lot of guilt.

After all, your parents took care of you, isn’t it your responsibility to care for them? Perhaps. But it’s important to realize there are many ways to care for your parents, that don’t necessarily include you being the one to balance their checkbook.

Help for adult children

Caring for your parents is a very personal journey, based on your relationship and family dynamics. While you can read a lot of advice on the internet, it might be hard to apply it to your own situation. That’s why I’ve decided to offer Financial Caregiver Gameplans.

My goal is to let financial caregivers take advantage of my 15 years as a daily money manager.

After working with hundreds of families, I have seen a wide variety of situations and have a wealth of knowledge to share. These strategy sessions are meant to help caregivers tap into that.

Learn more and see if this is something that would help in your situation.

Supporting Adult Children as they Care for Their Parents